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Wednesday, 20 June 2018

Relationship Abuse : Its Influence On Your Life

Hey peeps, love is beautiful with the right one who truly compliments you .



Love brewed in the pot of understanding yield fruitfulness. It is a complete package of immeasurable sacrifice, unending commitment, mutual respect, and tolerance. Relationship isn't a walk in the park, it tremendously requires patience, honesty and a forgiving heart.  I've undoubtedly seen people crushed, broken , and destroyed  in the name of Love! I've tasted the strawberry of  love before and I surely know how it is. It sumptuously taste sweet, feels great and literally energizes your sacred soul. But I've also come to the other end of the tunnel  that being in love shouldn't fatally break your wings of freedom and cause you to  lose yourself to the person! That's the major setback re-occurring in every relationship we enter.
Being in love doesn't mean you should lose your voice ! Being in love doesn't mean the person owns you! Being in love doesn't mean your life should depend on him/her! We are blindly getting the foundation of a relationship wrong. It's becoming more of OBSESSION, LUST than LOVE!

Inscribe this important fact in your heart that "Love brings freedom! Love brings respect! Love brings honour! Love is cherished! The formidable concept of love has been utterly misunderstood by many love folks thereby a ridiculously abusing it. Just as late Dr Myles Munroe always said and I quote "if you don't understand the purpose of a thing, you abuse it ". Relationship abuse has risen to its highest peak . First of all, I will graciously pen down reasons that shouldn't lead you into a relationship.

*Never be in a relationship because you feel lonely and alone. Many people enter into relationships due to loneliness. In this kind of state, you will totally depend on your partner for attention, love and build your life around the person. This act can be very dangerous as the other partner can take advantage of your vulnerability and use you to his/her satisfaction. He/she can request for things, sex and other pertinent stuffs you wouldn't have done on a normal day.

*Never be in a relationship because you feel unloved. In this delicate situation, you will never feel loved and well appreciated because you will never be satisfied no matter how much your partner showers you with love. Anytime you feel unloved, insecurities set in therefore a relationship is not the remedy but practicing self love.

*Never be in a relationship for temporary conditions such as for sexual satisfaction, fame, money, among others. They are rated as temporary since it is influenced by a feeling which doesn't last long but for a short moment. Pertinent reasons that should lead you into a relationship must be built on permanent conditions such as purpose, unconditional love, uncompromising commitment to mention but few.

What's a Relationship?
A relationship is committing yourself in knowing and understanding a person you willingly wish to spend the entirety of your life with and accomplish destiny. Relationship is purposely for marriage and the fulfillment of destiny , the unbreakable stepping stone to marriage. Therefore it takes maturity from all angles, understanding, tolerance, honesty, commitment, and selfless love to achieve a successful relationship which will eventually end in a committed marriage.

Relationship Is Not For ?
The tendency at which teenagers have made relationship a world cup is very intriguing. Relationship is not for children,it's for those prepared and ready to walk down the aisle. It's not child's play. Many teens off late are abusing the nature of relationship and as such, it has become an epidemic instead of a blessing.

World Conception of Relationship
Relationship is not romance whereby two lovers engage in sexual act as a form of expressing intimacy. That's what the world has undoubtedly defined it for us. The world sees relationship as fun and a form of releasing stress by engaging in multiple sexual partners and relentlessly dating anyone your eyes get pleased with. You set up a date, then cozily warm each other up in bed. You get to know each other for a while and if it doesn't work , you just back off. And this misconception has rendered many broken, dead, and some at the psychiatric hospital.

God's Perspective of Relationship
In the divine wisdom and knowledge of God, relationship is for marriage, companionship and the fulfillment of destiny. Relationship bring two unique imperfect people together who lives in the confines, discipline and values of God to achieve a greater purpose. In the book of Genesis, God introduced Eve to Adam in the times he was prepared, ready, working, cultivating, providing and protecting the animals and the garden he was given charge of. This proves to you relationship should be practiced at a shorter period whereby people are willing and ready for marriage; have gained indepth knowledge, and very prepared to manage a family and household. Relationships is for the matured; people who are financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually and psychologically stable and prepared to marry. Relationship is for discovery, where partners discover each others temperaments, strengths, likes and dislikes, have similar vision and are fully convinced in the Spirit he/she is the one. This is definitely God's perspective. It's not a trial and error thing as the world sees it.

Types of Abuse.
Relationship abuse comes in many forms, physical, emotional, sexual and pre-mature bonding.
*Pre-mature bonding happens when something is developed pre-maturedly. When people go before time to do something. This is a scenario of what the teens have been doing. Having boyfriends and girlfriends at Early stages of their lives, abusing the purpose of relationship. Forming bonds with different ladies and gentlemen at every moment they deem it fit to be with , at the ultimate end, breaking as many hearts possible.

*Physical abuse is the use of the fist as a partner turns into a heavyweight champion, beating the hell out of his/her partner.  If a person treats you like a dirty rag, you have the power and authority to walk out. Love is not a platform for destruction, but for pampering.

*Emotional abuse comes in the form of abusive words. When words which are supposed to uplift an individual's Spirit rather shatters it. Words are very powerful and when used abusively, can cause serious damage to the victim. Emotional abuse makes one scared to openly and confidently express him/herself. It can actually lead to identity crisis, insecurities and low self-esteem.

*A person who's forced to have sex out of his/ her own will leads to sexual abuse which happens in relationships. Sexual abuse can be very damaging to one's soul.

 Sometimes I feel God cries when He sees all the efforts put in place to please our precious boyfriends and girlfriends which He never gets a quarter of that love& attention we display in relationships !

Effects of Abusive Relationship
An abusive relationship can automatically cause more harm than good to an individual in various ways which can be extremely fatal. A bad relationship can magnimously affect the person's health, work, education, friendship, faith among others. It has the power and capacity to literally lead a person to the grave. In view of this, any person abused emotionally, physically and sexually in a relationship must boldly save him/herself by graciously walking away before it ultimately shatters their precious lives.

What Should Be Accepted?
Your love needs to be respected, honoured and cherished, not TAMPERED with! Wake up young ladies& gentlemen! Being in Love doesn't mean stand there to be "slapped " you've got to hold his/her hand, point your finger at him/her n say "I love you doesn't mean you've got the power to drive me crazy or abuse me" Stand for your life-It's a gift from God to serve a great purpose! Don't lose your life in the name of 'LOVE ' If you will only walk in this advise, you will be happy forever and thank me later .

Your relationship should influence you positively , it should create an environment of positive thinking, peace and joy. Relationships play a major role in our lives , hence the need to be wise in your choice of a partner.
TimewithPrissy
CampusToday Publications

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