For women who have been raped before, experience
psychological, emotional, physical and horrible nightmares. They consistently
have nightmares and the fear that every sexual activity is painful. Before they
say Yes to a man to accept relationship, they have their own experience of men;
every man is wicked and inconsistent because of what happened to them. The
degree of hatred in their heart is based on who raped them; fathers, uncles,
family friends, strangers (armed robbers, gang rape).
The degree of pain decreases as it goes down to
their peers. For a woman to be raped is almost unforgiveable; common
characteristics of women raped are fear, insecurity, unforgiveness not against
those people in particular but against every man. After that incident, there is
no confidence, faith and believe in any man.
They live a defensive/vulnerable life; some
decide to fight back, others become vulnerable and sex addict. Whatever class
the lady belongs to, they become anti-social, deviation from the normal process
a lady should go through especially when they were young. In that case, they
should consider social defect; some goes into drugs, alcohol, others their
faith especially the Christians and embrace occultism. Others also choose to do
nothing, everything goes.
Eventually, when a man wins the heart of a woman,
he has to be sure who he is going in for. If he really knows he is a victim of
rape, he should know what he’s going in for. But in entertaining or absorbing
all the heat, the only solution that works is when the man/husband is a
Christian and decide to get her born- again, the Holy Spirit heals the person’s
heart(2Corinthians 5:17). Any solution which is used apart from generally
accepting Christ will not work; even the therapies and advice from words do not
work.
Rape is not just a sin against their bodies, but
covers their rightful soul with total darkness which counseling and therapies
cannot, except the Power of the Holy Spirit. Afterwards, the man/husband should
adapt lifestyles that will suit her change; be willing to educate the wife
about sex even before their first courtship. But once in a while, we expect the
husband to take an active role literally teaching the wife life itself all over
again including “why every man is not a monster but some men
are just lost, revenge is not the right thing but those men need salvation”.
And most importantly, the husband must be able to
exclude his wife from old friends especially those that have negative influence
on her otherwise all his efforts to bring her positively back will be
neutralized by negative friends’ advices. (Proverbs 4:23-26). Men handle your
wives with care, love and respect.
My heart goes out to any woman who has been raped
before; it’s not over, don’t give up on your life but make it better and the
best. “let’sfightagainstRape”
Always
remember God first-stay blessed!!
Nhyira.
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