What Ought Not To Be Done pt1

Oooops it's been almost two weeks without a post.....hmmmm kindly forgive my bad manners. I was indisposed but i'm recovering now.....miss y'allllllllllll.
Many marriages have broken down due to several reasons, some of which are gossip, refusal to perform responsibilities, among others. All these problems will be resolved if you follow this chapter carefully and take the steps outlined. As married people, there is one major thing that you should not do: Do not share your private life with others. Keep your marriage life a secret from friends; it’s not advisable to tell them what goes on in your home every time you meet.

      DON’T LISTEN TO GOSSIP

Grow up. Do not allow gossips to destroy your marriage. One will say there is an iota of truth in every gossip. That may be true; however, relying on gossip can also break the marriage. Always investigate before reacting, demand for explanation or study your spouse to know if what you’ve heard is indeed true or not.

Usually, when married women hear that their husbands are cheating on them, they instantly change their attitudes towards them. They become so rude and mean and even go to the extent of denying them sex, quitting house chores (especially cooking), and breaking communications. They do not even bother to confront their spouse or even study them to find out if what they have actually heard is true.

At times, you need to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Gossip is dangerous—like a hammer, once lifted up, it can easily drive the nail into the wood and cause destruction. Gossip is also like a virus which needs anti-virus (such as trust) to purge it. Women, avoid gossip for it destroys marriages.

      DON’T TALK WHEN ANGRY

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion — but it's important to learn to deal with it in a positive manner. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships. Anytime a person is angry, the person speaks words that they may later regret. Whenever you realize you are angry, try to control yourself by keeping calm and quiet until the anger subsides. Wait for your temper to cool down before you say a word.

In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something that you'll later regret. Always remember that words can never be taken back once they come out. When angry, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. When your temper flares, just take a break. It’s not easy to withstand someone’s insults without reacting but as a Christian and a child of God, you need to have self-control.

You may want to react just to show the person that you are not a fool or that you are not easily insulted—but that won’t solve the problem or make you any wiser. If you think that listening to the abusive words or being with the person who has made you angry will worsen the situation or make you react badly, take a break from the situation.

I quite remember some insulting words I used one time I got angry at my beloved. It was terrible—and anytime I recall them, I feel so sad. It’s not advisable to talk when angry; it worsens the situation and as such, it must be avoided. Your partner might say you’re a coward or call you names but don’t be offended, it’s just an expression of your partner’s anger. Such accusations can make you react—don’t pay attention to such words.

I have been a victim of such circumstances that is why I’m putting much emphasis on it so that you don’t have such an experience too. I hated the word “coward” and anytime my beloved offended me and I didn’t react, he taunted me using that word. This made my blood boils, causing me to use all kinds of abusive words.

Since I met Christ and gave my life to Him, I’ve stopped using abusive words when I’m angry. I have learn to deal with my anger by taking a break and moving away from the situation. Let the love of Christ be seen in you, for Jesus was tempted by Satan and He could have sinned but he controlled himself. Pray for grace from above to be able to control your temper always.

Nhyira