Open Up For New Love

Hey peeps...... it's been amazing having y'all read whatever I post!! Enjoy this blessed day!! 

After a terrible break-up, it becomes difficult for you to open up to receive new love. Some people are still single because they have lost interest in relationship. They don’t want a repeat of what happened to them. Does it mean they don’t want to marry? No, that shouldn’t be the case; refrain from fear of mingling again.

Don’t be a loser; put your heart back on track, open it up to receive new love but this time be careful: don’t repeat the same mistakes. Fear prevents you from attaining your goals so don’t allow it to destroy your bright love future.

Opening up to others takes time, sometimes years but you shall surely be able to open up freely if you only make up your mind to mingle again. It all depends on your mind: the ability to make good decisions.

In opening up, the first thing to do is freeing up your mind: you stop thinking about negativity in relationships and focusing on the positives. You shouldn’t also compare what happened in the past to the present; be positive about the new love found and don’t compare him/her to your ex- that will be the biggest mistake.

Remember he/she is a new person with different character, so if your ex used to call you three times a day and he doesn’t, you should know he’s not your ex, he is a new person with his own different character. The moment you start comparing what your new lover does to your ex, you’ll just mess up with your life again. Just focus on building up your new relationship and avoid comparison.

Fear hinders your ability to do the right things at the right time. In opening up, you need to overcome all that is holding you back, say “NO” to those things. Fear has prevented so many people in enjoying their love lives and don’t be part of it. When you realize what fear has prevented you to achieve, then you know how “foolish” you have been.

“Had I known is always at last” is meant for cowards so don’t be counted as one. Open up, explore and you’ll see that there are wonderful ladies and gentlemen who are hidden. Don’t allow fear to destroy you, what of the dreams you’ve always had about your wonderful marriage with your beautiful kids and handsome husband? Are you allowing that to slip away because of just what a lady/gentleman has done to you?

No, I don’t think you’ll allow that to happen because that gentleman/lady does not deserve this wonderful sacrifice you’re making. He/she will surely marry and have a wonderful family and you’ll be shattered for the rest of your life.

Ask yourself these questions, answer them critically and you’ll know whether to open up or not. Do you think he/she deserve your “BIGGEST” sacrifice? Do you think he/she cares about what happens to you? Do you think he is so important than your life? Does she even think about you as you do? Has he ever called you even once to know what’s up with you? Does she care about your future as you do?

 You may ask how do I  open up……..

Ø  By  freeing up your mind; not going back or holding onto the past relationship.

Ø  Overcoming the fear within you; the fear of having another attack or not able to love again.

Ø  Socialize or network to make as many male/female friends you can and keep them.

Ø  Finally, one out of your friends will emerge out as your lover. Give out your best to him/her and things will surely work out.

When starting the relationship, you wouldn’t feel much interested but with time things will come back to normal and you shall surely find your feet back again.

There is a question someone asked me when I was advising her to forget about her past hurt and to move on. She said “what if I have a feeling in my heart that he is the one for me, can’t I wait for him? I paused for some time, prayed to God for divine wisdom and I went straight to the point.

I asked “what feelings have you been having? She replied, “sometimes I feel he is my husband due to what we shared so I don’t want to move on: he shall surely come again. Wooww, what a decision! Then I told her “why are you allowing your happiness to depend on him? Do you think he still cares about you? How long are you going to wait for him, is it forever? What if he doesn’t come back again? You’ll miss the wonderful treasures God has in store for you.

Don’t allow a human being to define your life rather allow God to take control, trust in God rather than him, he is not worth it my dear.

She burst out in tears; I could feel how terrible she was and how much she loved the guy. She cried all day and I just sat by her till she slept and I left. The next day, I went to visit her and surprisingly, she had deleted all his messages she had hold onto. I then realized she was depending on his messages for a comeback.

She still wasn’t happy doing that but she said “I have to do this now or never”.A week later, she called me sounding so happy and I was astonished. She said “Nhyira, I thank you so much for your advice; it has helped me a lot. I’m now happy, focusing on my dream of becoming a lawyer. At first, I decided not to buy the university forms but your words really inspired me. I’m making new friends and I’ve been enjoying their company. My life will have been destroyed all because of him, he is actually not worth it” she then hanged up.

I felt happy after listening to her; I thanked God for using me to reach out to the broken-hearted. Sometimes you just need caring people to help you to overcome the past and receive what the future has for you.

Five years later, thus 2009-2014, I attended her graduation as well as her marriage; feeling so happy. She introduced me to her husband; he also thanked me. Few months later, she called to inform me that her ex-guy had been arrested for murdering his wife. She told me thanks be to God for it would have been her if they hadn’t broken up. Open up for new love when the need arises.

Always remember God first- stay blessed!!

Nhyira