Anytime
you travel, you may make a stop, have a snack, relieve yourself, relax or walk
for a while. This break is very important; without it, the journey will be very
tiring and stressful. Some people may not get to the rest stop due to an accident—a
break-up in terms of relationships. The rest stop is a place where you feel
relaxed because you are 80% sure that you will reach your destination. This
place determines whether you’ll make it through the journey or not. The relationship
journey also needs a resting place, if not it cannot reach its destination.
This
resting point is COUNSELING. Before two people can get married, they need to
go through counseling, which is usually done in the church by the marriage counseling
committee made up of elders of the church. A date is then fixed for partners who
want to get married so that they can be counseled.
During
counseling, questions are asked and important topics concerning marriage are
discussed. Sometimes, both partners go together; at times, they go separately. Partners
are asked to write down the likes and dislikes of the other. Then, the counselors
compare their responses in order to find out if the partners are compatible or
not and to find out how much they know about each other. They also try to find
out if you are both ready to marry or not through the questions they ask.
Counselors
usually set up a group to investigate secretly into the families of the
partners, their family behaviors, attitudes, and religion to mention but few.
They also find out if the man is financially, emotionally, spiritually and
physically ready to get married. The investigators also find out if the woman
is ready to be a wife—how she keeps the home, if she knows how to cook, wash,
clean, and how she relates to her family. The counselors make sure that the
woman’s attitude towards people in and outside her family is encouraging and
welcoming. All these investigations are done thoroughly to ensure a good
marriage.
The partners are then asked individually to write their expectations of their
marriage. The counselors also ask them to check their genotype, blood group,
Rhesus factor and test their HIV status. All these are done to ensure a healthy
marriage. Sometimes, after going through all these, the counselors may advise
them to take time to study each other or break up, if they foresee any
potential problems. If you do not follow the counselor’s advice, the church will
not bless your marriage.
The
counselors are experienced people and stand on behalf of God to show you the
best way to marriage, thus everything they say must be accepted in good faith.
You
can’t skip counseling so be ready for it as you journey on the road to
marriage. Be prepared, for many questions will be asked. If you don’t know your
partner well, it is time for you to study him or her.
