THE RESTING POINT

Anytime you travel, you may make a stop, have a snack, relieve yourself, relax or walk for a while. This break is very important; without it, the journey will be very tiring and stressful. Some people may not get to the rest stop due to an accident—a break-up in terms of relationships. The rest stop is a place where you feel relaxed because you are 80% sure that you will reach your destination. This place determines whether you’ll make it through the journey or not. The relationship journey also needs a resting place, if not it cannot reach its destination.

This resting point is COUNSELING. Before two people can get married, they need to go through counseling, which is usually done in the church by the marriage counseling committee made up of elders of the church. A date is then fixed for partners who want to get married so that they can be counseled.

During counseling, questions are asked and important topics concerning marriage are discussed. Sometimes, both partners go together; at times, they go separately. Partners are asked to write down the likes and dislikes of the other. Then, the counselors compare their responses in order to find out if the partners are compatible or not and to find out how much they know about each other. They also try to find out if you are both ready to marry or not through the questions they ask.

Counselors usually set up a group to investigate secretly into the families of the partners, their family behaviors, attitudes, and religion to mention but few. They also find out if the man is financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically ready to get married. The investigators also find out if the woman is ready to be a wife—how she keeps the home, if she knows how to cook, wash, clean, and how she relates to her family. The counselors make sure that the woman’s attitude towards people in and outside her family is encouraging and welcoming. All these investigations are done thoroughly to ensure a good marriage.

The partners are then asked individually to write their expectations of their marriage. The counselors also ask them to check their genotype, blood group, Rhesus factor and test their HIV status. All these are done to ensure a healthy marriage. Sometimes, after going through all these, the counselors may advise them to take time to study each other or break up, if they foresee any potential problems. If you do not follow the counselor’s advice, the church will not bless your marriage.

The counselors are experienced people and stand on behalf of God to show you the best way to marriage, thus everything they say must be accepted in good faith.

You can’t skip counseling so be ready for it as you journey on the road to marriage. Be prepared, for many questions will be asked. If you don’t know your partner well, it is time for you to study him or her.

Nhyira