Dear Tracy,
After
reading your letter, I realized you need to read and learn more when it comes
to relationships and marriage. Relationship is not always about love but
knowledge and understanding too. Sometimes when the fire dies off, what keeps
both of you together is knowledge and understanding, how you are able to accept
and understand each other’s flaws and help one another improve on him or her. I
got to know you lack knowledge of who a man is and how to relate with them
without stepping on their ego.
The
first thing is, imagine your fiancé rather has a tight female friend whom he
shares everything with, how would you
react or feel, that’s the same feeling and reaction he’s putting across. You assume
he’s older so it’s difficult to play with but have you tried engaging him in
activities that will result in you two playing? Perception really kills and
assumptions always breed break-ups. Once you see the person as difficult and
not lively, you will keep having those challenges until you begin to see the
person in a different direction.
It
could be he doesn’t know how to do it so you should teach him. The background,
parents, how we were trained or the environment we lived in most times
influence our behavior so he might not know how to play due to any of these
factors or even more. Moreover, you’ve not created an atmosphere where you two
can freely share problems since you are always turning to Manuel to confide in.
Tracy,
you are losing focus so be on tack.
Remember, the other guy you play with also
have flaws which you’ve not discovered because the friendship has blinded you
to discover more or you might have looked over those flaws. There’s still hope in
your relationship, you have not put in much effort. You expect too much from
your fiancé whiles you have not given your best shot.
I’ll
tell you, if you break-up with him based on these reasons, you’ll surely regret
your decision one day. Study and learn more about relationships; that will help
you. Have quality communication with him, sort out all differences, and both of
you should work it out.
I will recommend these two books “The
Power and Purpose of Love and Marriage” by Dr Myles Munroe and “Junk in the
Trunk” by Bishop T.D Jakes.
Always remember God first- stay
blessed!!
Nhyira
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