I’m supposing from
the previous posts, you might have found the person who compliments your
God-given purpose. From this point, a relationship is needed because the two of
you have to connect. How do the two connect whiles in a relationship? When you read
the bible Amos3:3 it says “can two walk together unless they agree”.
So, before the two can really connect, there has to be AGREEMENT on every issue relating to marriage and marital life as
well as purpose and destiny.
For example;
couples who don’t attend the same church,
it’s dangerous sometimes because you are been fed with different teachings, a time will come one will think his/her church is better than the other leading to
the unexpected. Also, a wife who is
interested in family ceremonies and a husband who is not interested in that,
these couples can face the unexpected if
they don’t find a way to agree on how such things should be avoided or
compromised. With these examples, partners journeying towards marriage
should take note and try to make
agreement on all issues without affecting the other negatively.
Moreover, there has
to be EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION,
where the two can be free to share everything including interests, goals and aspirations in life. Note this; it
shouldn’t always be romantic chat
but life communication/ purpose communication.
When communication is done well, it creates
the environment of trust, belonging and companionship. It’s a point where
everything relating to the individual can be discussed; weakness, strengths, past and present. Examples are Abraham&
Sarah, Isaac& Rebecca, Joseph& Mary in the bible, they really
communicated. Likewise, if your relationship with God can be strong, it depends
on communication to create a strong bond.
Now, after communication,
you two need FELLOWSHIP. Is quite
different from communication; it moves further to involve the two of you embarking on a similar course. Fellow means two or more people on a
particular course and the ship means a traveling machine so fellowship is, partners embarking on a
common agenda or purpose together. Your fellowship can be seen by engaging
in something Godly together and it has to be sacred. It strengthens bond and affection.
Whiles in a
relationship, attraction must work
too. Attraction is something that pulls two or more things together therefore
for the relationship to be stronger; there is the need for something that
attracts you two together. Attraction can be physical, social or spiritual but as believers you don’t build your
attraction only on the physical because it’s temporal; you need to build your
attraction on something that is permanent or spiritual.
For instance, you don’t
date a lady/guy because he/she is beautiful or handsome, what if he/she grows old or gets an accident that disfigures him/her,
will you still be attracted to him/her? I don’t think so!! But if your attraction
is on purpose which is spiritual, no matter what happens, you two would
still be together because you might not find someone who can replace that attraction. Physical appearance is not enough;
there should be something extraordinary;
it could be character, spiritual gifts, purpose or something more permanent.
Intimacy
has been a controversial point when it comes to
relationship because people don’t know at which level to go in showing
intimacy. What then is intimacy? Per my understanding, intimacy is togetherness, affirmation, rapport, attachment, familiarity,
close association, and close relationship/understanding the two partners feel.
Intimacy in this 21st century has all been based on sexual relationship. It’s part but in
the confines of relationship that leads to marriage, it has to be omitted but
there are still more ways to show intimacy, per the definition a person can
show intimacy like understanding the other feelings and emotional complexities.
It shouldn’t always have to be sex; going
to the beach, cinemas, window shopping to mention but few can all be means to
show intimacy other than sex as believers.
Many people don’t
know their partners love language; don’t
miss the next post on the “five love
language”
Always
remember God first- stay blessed!!
Nhyira
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